I want to tell you a story today – a story of this guy in Norman whose life was in a key…
Once upon a time (that is right now), there used to be a guy. He was tall, dark, but not handsome. (Let’s call him Jay) He was dating this girl in town – quiet, mature and sensible. Everyone in the town thought Jay was weird and socially awkward, so they wondered how such a nice girl fell for this jack ass. But love is blind…
So anyways, they were so much in love that they couldn’t stay away from each other. So technically they should have just moved in together. But since Jay was a hypocrite, he told his girl friend to live with a roommate and then he will just stay at her place unofficially. The girl listened to every word Jay said. So she did the same. They caught hold of this girl who was moving into the town, Somy. So she moved in with Jay’s girl, not knowing what she was getting into. Obviously she didn’t have a clue about Jay’s existence. She thought she was going to stay with this nice girl peacefully for the rest of the semester. Somy was going through some tough times, emotionally, personally, professionally, so getting a nice apartment and a nice roommate seemed like some relief to her.
Soon after she moved into the apartment, she found out that there was going to be a permanent visitor in the house, Jay. He used to go back to his house in the beginning, but soon he moved into the apartment with his stuff and never used to go back to his original apartment. Jay was very comfortable in the girls’ apartment. So comfortable that without any hesitation, he would use everything in the apartment – living room, kitchen, bathroom (eeewwww). This loving couple used to stay at home most of the time, while Somy used to go out a lot for work and leisure. Unfortunately, there was only one key to the apartment (long story). So Jay’s girlfriend and Somy figured a way so that none of them gets locked out because of limited access to key. Their method was a six sigma! It worked perfectly, until Jay interfered. Because of him Somy used to get locked out of the house. Not once but nine to ten times a month. After every lock-out incidence, Jay will give Somy a lame reason and apologize. So sweet of him! But would repeat the same thing the next time. After the last incidence Somy was really pissed and was talking to him telling him how he should be more careful about it. And Jay said sorry and started looking at the computer screen, totally ignoring Somy.
Well, it was like asking Somy ‘Please take the key with you or I will lock you out’. That’s what she did. She started taking the key with her thereafter. And guess what, neither Jay nor his girlfriend ever got locked out when the key was with Somy. But Somy didn’t know a secret…
She didn’t know that key was not an ordinary key. This key was Jay’s life. So if the key was taken away from his eyes, he would freak out and become restless. To get the keys back he would do anything to everything. He won’t mind yelling, screaming or going crazy. All he would want at that moment was THE KEY!!! So what if he is an illegal resident at the apartment? So what if he had moved into girls’ apartment without thinking about how it will affect other girl’s life? So what if he didn’t pay the rent? So what if he was such a pain in the ass for his girl friend’s roommate? Nope! All this doesn’t matter. What matters is that when Jay steps out of not-his apartment, he should have the key with him.
Since Somy didn’t know all this, she dared to take the key with her one morning when she went to the mailbox to check if she got any mail. Before she was back, Jay woke up. And he didn’t find the key in the usual place. OMG! He freaked out. Of course… his life was in danger. He called Somy right then! In his loud and rude voice he said, “Where is the key?” That day Somy lost it. She was putting up with Jay’s crap from the day one. His presence was annoying, but she adjusted. But if this control freak gets instructional, that’s beyond the acceptable limits. Knowing the character of the guy, Somy had already told her roommate that she doesn’t want to/have to deal with Jay. If there is something to be talked about, it will be discussed only by the girl. So well… Somy said the same thing to Jay that morning “I don’t want to deal with a manner-less guy who doesn’t know how to talk to ladies” Damn! She should have known that 1. She had dared mess with Jay’s life (the key). 2. She had dared to ignore Jay who was suffering from how-dare-you-avoid-me syndrome. “No, you talk to me!!” Haha you think Somy is crazy or what?
So Somy kept trying to get her roommate out of her room. While Jay kept yelling at Somy, she multi-tasked – sipping on cold water, ignoring the wild, out of control Jay, and knocking on roommate’s door so she comes out and puts her boyfriend on leash. And wow it took her 10 minutes to put herself together and step out.
Now the battle ground was set: 1, 2, 3 and shoot!!! Half an hour of non-stop yelling, screaming, pointing, blaming, defending, examples, dates, incidences. Jay went ballistic! He was yelling at Somy at the top of his voice, complaining that she took the key. Huh? Dude! You are a damn illegal unwanted visitor! Know your place.
The girl tried to calm him down, but didn’t succeed. Somy announced that she is not saying a word to Jay! Talking to Jay was like volunteering to bang your head on the wall. So after all said and done… Somy was upset with this treatment. Her parents had raised her to be sophisticated and dignified. And surely this ill treatment was unnecessary and totally uncalled for. After this insult and disrespect she wouldn’t stay in that house. She doesn’t need to deal with an insane uncivilized uncouth barbarian. She moved out the same day (thank her friends, Rajib and Ana).
Jay should definitely think about investing in classes like anger management, how to talk to females, how to behave well, moral science etc. May be he skipped these lessons while in school.
Now Somy is at Ana’s place and loving it. While Jay is in the same apartment paying the whole rent and bearing burden of his deeds (God’s watching).
P.S. Somy’s roommate was a nice girl. If she happens to read this, she should understand that she is a very nice person and she deserves someone better than a jerk like Jay; someone who knows how to respect women, gives her right to decide for herself, not be a control freak and take care of his girl well.