I am dependent on checklists. You can blame it on my poor memory or on my desire to always perform with utmost efficiency and perfection. Ramit Sethi didn’t help any by recommending The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande. Whatever you pick as the excuse, the fact is that I live my life based on checklists. And damn right; I have a checklist for my future lover. So dear Mr.Future Lover, read on…
You should have a desire for personal growth. I don’t care about how dashingly hot you are. Or if you made a million dollars last year. Or if you are ‘the dude’. But I do hope that you read a little (books, internet, newspaper or something, anything). I hope you have personal and professional goals that you regularly work on. I hope when you achieve those goals, you set up some new ones. And I also hope that you respect my personal growth journey – cz I can tell you it’s not ending anytime soon.
You should be a mature human being. I know every man reading this is saying “Of course I am mature”. But really, are you? A serious relationship comes with great responsibility. I really hope you have made most of your major mistakes in life, learned from them and moved on. I hope you are self aware and strong – you will face new challenges in life confidently and will be the support system for me as well. And if we disagree upon something, which I’m sure we will, you should be able to disagree gracefully without holding grudges.
Respect my family. Accept my family. Mine might not be a perfect family; but whose is? We have our flaws, we have our problems, but at the end of the day – we are together and there for each other – no matter what. You would need to become a part of this mess. Get your hands dirty. And listen to my occasional rants. (Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.)
You must be an explorer. We don’t need to have same interests and hobbies. I mean let’s get real, I will never be able to enjoy sports like a man and you would never enjoy a chick flicks like a girl. But as long as you are up for trying new things, traveling to new places, going to restaurants we’ve never been before and just exploring life and the world – you can be my man!
Sense of humor is a big one! For me cz I like to take things easy and find good humor extremely attractive. But for you too. If you can’t look at little things and find humor in it, your life with me might turn out to be extremely difficult. I am silly and a lot of times I can be a super awkward potato (I love saying awkward potato). And the best way to deal with it I’ve found is to just laugh it off.
You should be a kind, compassionate and respectful human being. You need to love me unconditionally – that comes without saying. But in addition to that, you must also be compassionate and respectful to people, animals, choices, religions and situations. Now I don’t need no Dalai Lama; but if you are an insensitive douche, it’s just not going to cut it for me. Sorry.
You should have a stable life. Not only financially, but also emotionally.
And last but not the least – We need to be attracted to each other. Notice I said WE. If I am attracted to you and you are not, I am going to find out (cons of dating a smart girl) – and of course, vice-versa.
P.S. I know it’s a gender unbiased list for the most part, but I am really hoping that my future lover is a man. Just a personal preference.